From Journal

I realized last night while catching a ride with my cousin and husband that I didn't want to be doomed to work a job that I didn't find appealing to my lifestyle. My cousin's husband has been working the same job for as long as I knew him. Working during the graveyard hours. For me its hard to grasp, then I took a look at my life and the job that I'm working and a sudden panic arises. Why? Why do we get stuck? I don't want to be stuck, but reality is that I am stuck.
I'm still currently trying to fit the pieces back together. Gathering my dignity, or what's left of it from a failed relationship, failed business endeavors, just a long period of failure.
My connection with God has been hazy for a long time. My spiritual journey has yet to unfold completely. But I have found an astounding fact about myself which is that I am in fact on a journey towards self discovery and spiritual enlightenment. I continue to pray my journey is directed in the right path.
I've been neglecting my health for a long time coming. Getting into shape poses a big challenge for me as I'm not too great with commitment. So I countered this aspect of my life with spiritual grounding, the substance that I am most likely to relate too.
So the idea is to be organized and prepared and to be open minded. Focus is the key element of this year. Focus with slight obsession.'>Note: Sitting in the coffee shop in

From Journal. (Various Thoughts)

The ultimate human goal is to obtain and maintain peace, within, and outwards. Peace is not complicated nor is it sophisticated. Just as God is not complicated or sophisticated. God is unfathomable, and the human mind is unable to unravel God's existence. For what a human does not understand, he fears and believes not. But it would be self destructive to proclaim that "there is no God", for you know that statement is false. God exists, and as God exists so does peace. But God gave man the freedom to choose his life and his existence as the ultimate test of worthiness.
Those who call upon peace and move nations through peace are the ones who walk with God and God is with them. Peace is obtainable and can be achieved, those who are enlightened have found it and seek no more in life. They maintain the peace within, the delusions that exist in this world seek to destroy this bond between God and man. Because peace is fulfilling, nothing more is satisfactory.

Various from Journal

It’s about 4 in the morning and my mind is swimming with swarms of ideas and junk. I stare blankly at this paper with the cursor blinking every second as I listen to the music playing on my computer.

My emotions are a mess. There are so many decisions to make so many actions to take and risks to consider. Questions are drowning me in the endless abyss of I don’t know.