from various love notes...

What I have to offer are words that fall short of explaining what words cannot justify for you.
That this void between you and I is the immense space of darkness.
Like planets and stars you and I are,
You the star and I the planet,
That your grace and beauty I cannot comprehend.
In the darkness you spark life on the dull planet.
You inspire and I admire.
But as planet and stars are,
We remain in this eternal dance in the void of space
Never touching or intertwining,
As it's collision will be deadly and disastrous,
But a sight of excellent beauty for others to see.
But one cannot exist without the other you see,
If this may be,
Then we become nothing more but floating rocks in the void of space,
Just existing without purpose.

L.I.F.E

Years after my undergraduates studies and the various religious retreats I have attended, I now understand what LIFE is. I am still learning with new encounters in my life at this point, however, I was sitting here staring at the blank page on my laptop with the word "LIFE" typed on it, made me search backwards in time for answers. 

Spiritual Crash...

Woke up in the morning riding on roller coaster
Midway to heaven, half way to hell

Over it.

Mundane. 
Consistently doing the day to day as if it was makin a dfference, takin a shovel out into the field to dig a pit so deep as if to lie in it. 
Maybe just once, i'd break the mundane and become insane. 
Drunk with chaos and high on disaster. 

Shut out!

You're screamin in my ear
Yellin in my face
Tellin me that I'm a waste of a life
Sayin that I bring nothin but strife

From Random Conversations

Sitting at a Buger King out in Aikahi my good buddy Justin asks me, why so down? What's bothing you? I couldn't explain what it was that i was feeling. Newly appointed to take on a task greater than myself and battling with the overload of my mundane paper load every Monday to Friday, I was trying to find the right description to express what I was feeling. I had to dig deep in a matter of seconds to sort out the mixture of feelings that swelled inside.

Various from Journal

Time, it is amazing what it could do. When the world is still and peaceful, the soul well achieved and enlightened will age with grace in complete satisfaction.

From Journal

I realized last night while catching a ride with my cousin and husband that I didn't want to be doomed to work a job that I didn't find appealing to my lifestyle. My cousin's husband has been working the same job for as long as I knew him. Working during the graveyard hours. For me its hard to grasp, then I took a look at my life and the job that I'm working and a sudden panic arises. Why? Why do we get stuck? I don't want to be stuck, but reality is that I am stuck.
I'm still currently trying to fit the pieces back together. Gathering my dignity, or what's left of it from a failed relationship, failed business endeavors, just a long period of failure.
My connection with God has been hazy for a long time. My spiritual journey has yet to unfold completely. But I have found an astounding fact about myself which is that I am in fact on a journey towards self discovery and spiritual enlightenment. I continue to pray my journey is directed in the right path.
I've been neglecting my health for a long time coming. Getting into shape poses a big challenge for me as I'm not too great with commitment. So I countered this aspect of my life with spiritual grounding, the substance that I am most likely to relate too.
So the idea is to be organized and prepared and to be open minded. Focus is the key element of this year. Focus with slight obsession.'>Note: Sitting in the coffee shop in

From Journal. (Various Thoughts)

The ultimate human goal is to obtain and maintain peace, within, and outwards. Peace is not complicated nor is it sophisticated. Just as God is not complicated or sophisticated. God is unfathomable, and the human mind is unable to unravel God's existence. For what a human does not understand, he fears and believes not. But it would be self destructive to proclaim that "there is no God", for you know that statement is false. God exists, and as God exists so does peace. But God gave man the freedom to choose his life and his existence as the ultimate test of worthiness.
Those who call upon peace and move nations through peace are the ones who walk with God and God is with them. Peace is obtainable and can be achieved, those who are enlightened have found it and seek no more in life. They maintain the peace within, the delusions that exist in this world seek to destroy this bond between God and man. Because peace is fulfilling, nothing more is satisfactory.

Various from Journal

It’s about 4 in the morning and my mind is swimming with swarms of ideas and junk. I stare blankly at this paper with the cursor blinking every second as I listen to the music playing on my computer.

My emotions are a mess. There are so many decisions to make so many actions to take and risks to consider. Questions are drowning me in the endless abyss of I don’t know.

An Unpeculiar Feeling

The soul is full of regrets.
Reminiscing the time that was wasted on blind love.
The feeling is banging at the pit of my stomach
Like a hammer smashing down denting my pride
Its like an explosion so great that it shatters the glass
Flying the pieces through the air tearing apart the flesh
Rage flares through the veins

Illusions

In the crowd
In traffic on an early morning
Sitting on the passenger side in that red corvette 
In the store next to the sale rack
In the evening at the party
Slightly facing towards the bar
The lights dance on 
I see you pass by at the edge of my eye

Last Moments Forever

He sat there as frail as the brittle leaf that falls at the turn of the season.

My heart full of sorrow as the sun set in the horizon.

The children are playing still

Roosters call out to welcome the approaching dusk.

We sit in silence

CLASH

I'm standing in the middle of the highway in the middle of the night. The illuminating city lights embrace me as the cars speed past me in a blur. But I just stand there dazed in my melancholy atmosphere. I feel nothing, I hear nothing, but I am watching it all fall apart.

Beyond Understanding

Before light was light and dark was dark there was God.

Where there were no worlds, no stars, no moon, no space there was God.

God is divine and Divine is God that out of God’s mouth came God’s spoken “WORDS”. And God’s spoken words are WISDOM.